Create Core Memories That Last A Lifetime

We hear the term “core memory” tossed around frequently nowadays (especially if you’re a parent and have seen Pixar’s Inside Out), but what does it actually mean?

Core memories are a set of five or so memories that are considered to be the most important in a person’s life. They are so significant that they can immediately shape a person’s personality, behaviors, and sense of self.

With that definition being so powerful, why aren’t we thinking about creating them more often?

Now, some core memories are something that we cannot plan for, and not all of them are good.

I have a couple of core memories that I wish I could permanently erase from my mind, but they’re there and have shaped me into who I am today.

For the positive creation side of core memories, I believe that we can be far more intentional about creating them.

At the end of each summer, we created a special tradition for our kids, but it has also become very special for mom and dad.

Our kids found this movie a few years ago called Yes Day. It’s a cute movie with a bunch of bad ideas.

As you might imagine, the premise was that the parents had to say “yes” to everything the kids asked for that day, or else there would be a consequence. It was essentially a bet between the mother and daughter.

Of course, they had the idea that we should replicate the idea. At first, I was a hard pass because of the bad ideas in the movie.

The timing of this idea was the year 2020, and I know you all remember what was happening then.

I felt terrible that our kids had their worlds shut down by our government.

I caved and said yes to Yes Day! But I caved with guardrails.

The guardrails we set up were as follows…

1. Geographic – we should remain in one city or area to maximize the day.

2. Experiences overspending – This day is about having experiences together as a family, NOT spending money (we gave each kid a $100 budget for expenditure).

3. No ruining Mom & Dad’s stuff – you’ll understand this better if you watch the movie.

4. Each kid gets a pick on an activity or experience of their choice – in our instance, we have four kids, so they each get a pick.

5. Mom & Dad get one pick in an experience we want with the kids.

This day was a home run—so much so that it has become an annual tradition for our family as one last hoorah to summer before they go back to school.

Our kids look forward to it, and so do we!

We’ve created some amazing experiences together as a family.

We only get so many days and years with our kids. I want to maximize every chance I get to be an example for them and create fond memories that will last their lifetimes.

Feel free to replicate this idea or create your own core memories for your loved ones.

The idea here is for you to become hyper-cognizant of the fleeting time we have here on this earth.

Your most cherished relationships deserve time, attention, and love!

Be the example that you wish you had when you were growing up.

Be the example you wish your parents exhibited in a healthy marriage.

Be the example you wish you had in a boss.

Your intention and your actions matter more than you’ll ever know!

What core memories are you making with your most important relationships? I’d love to hear your ideas.

Inspire & Impact,

Josh